"My Wiener Isn't 12 Inches But It Smells Like A Foot" Shirt

My doctor called it a medical anomaly. My landlord called it a lease violation.

You Didn't Ask:

100% Ring-Spun Cotton: Soft Gildan 64000 fabric so you're comfortable while ruining the room's vibe.

No Side Seams: Seamless tubular fit. Tear-away tag so your neck doesn't itch.

Clean Ethics: OEKO-TEX certified US cotton. The joke is biohazardous; the supply chain isn't.

Don't Destroy It:

Wash cold (under 90°F), tumble dry low.

No bleach, no dry cleaning.

Don't iron the print unless you like melting art.

The boring-but-important stuff:

Printed to order just for you — it usually takes 2–7 business days to print before it ships, so it’s worth the wait. Classic unisex fit, true to size. Machine wash cold, tumble dry low. Something wrong with your order? Message us and we’ll make it right.